5 Tips to Avoiding a Fling
Posted on October 19, 2007
Filed Under Relationships
5 Tips to Avoiding a Fling
By Linda Dominique Grosvenor
While it may seem pretty simple to understand why women who are lonely and seeking any form of affection from the opposite sex routinely find themselves having non-committed sexual flings, flings themselves are still detrimental to the psyche. Although a woman may go into a fling agreeing to the terms, they still leave not only emotional scars, but can plant seeds of bitterness that will taint future relationships for years to come. Here are 5 surefire tips to avoiding those dreaded hook-ups all year long.
1. BELIEVE that you are enough. Even if you’re single, divorced, widowed or fit into another category trust that you are precious enough to warrant the best and be treated with respect. It doesn’t matter how good looking he or she is, if you don’t believe in yourself, and honor your own worth, as a Godly woman–nobody will.
2. THINK and be rational about your decisions. Life is nothing like the movies so don’t be so quick to romanticize everything you see, feel, taste or hear. Spiritual things are to be discerned. Ask yourself, “What do you know about this person you’re meeting?” Don’t allow an initial attraction to dull your senses. Put on your high beams, take the time to process everything that’s going on around you—take it slow and don’t rush into anything.
3. LISTEN to your inner voice. It’s the voice we mostly ignore and it lands us in a heap of trouble time and time again when we dismiss it. Learn to read between the lines and listen to what he or she is NOT saying as well as what they ARE saying. If you hear or see something that sends up a red flag—don’t dismiss it—heed the warning. When all else fails remind yourself of what your praying mother or grandmother would say in a situation like this—she’s probably right.
4. SEPARATE your feelings from having a good time. One has nothing to do with the other. In an instance where you two have just met, do not allow the oceans waves, a good meal or a sultry voice sway you into believing the experience is something that its not. You both had individual lives before you met and will more than likely continue to after the summer encounter ends. Love can happen, but remove the the ocean waves and soft music and evaluate if you’re still feeling the same way.
5. ACCOUNTABILITY partner. If you don’t have one, now is a good time to find someone who will agree in advance not to coddle you or allow you to act emotionally or sexually reckless in public or in private. Never go it alone—be it vacations or a dinner party, always take your accountability partner along with you—they’ll come in handy and you won’t wake up with morning after regrets. It’s a wonderful feeling to respect yourself!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Linda Dominique Grosvenor has made her foray into non-fiction with the inspirational smash hit The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate. She maintains a popular online advice column at AskPrincessDominique.com and is the bestselling author of the summer sizzler The Hamptons. Visit her at www.LindaDominiqueGrosvenor.com.
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